I Can Faith That!
How to go from a stressful and anxious life to one filled with self-care, faith and self-love.
I Can Faith That!
EP 13 | Embracing Self-Discovery: You're Not Lost, You're Exploring
Do you feel the pressure to have your entire life figured out? Are you tired of being made to feel like something's wrong with you for exploring different paths? You're not alone.
In this candid conversation, I dive deep into society's unrealistic expectation that we should know exactly who we want to be from childhood. The truth is, exploration isn't a character flaw—it's a strength. What matters isn't having all the answers, but giving yourself grace to discover them at your own pace. As I'm launching my own coaching business after years in a stable career, I've learned that I'd rather try something new than live with the regret of wondering "what if?"
Ready to release the shame of not having it all figured out? Tune in, give yourself permission to explore, and remember: you're exactly where you need to be on your journey of becoming.
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Hey guys, welcome to another episode of the I Can Faith that podcast. Okay, this is episode number 13, I believe. Yes, I'm pretty sure. So I am your host and your coach, trish. I am a personal finance and budgeting coach. I'm also a life coach.
Speaker 1:Today's episode is for people who struggle with not knowing what you want to do, who you want to be, and it could show itself in many different forms, right? So either you are someone who bounces from thing to thing to thing, right, creative project to creative project to creative project. You start stuff. You may not necessarily finish it. You don't fully know who you wanna be. You don't fully know how you want to present yourself in this world. You don't fully know what you wanna do. You have so many different passions or so many different things that you are interested in, but nothing necessarily is resonating with you. Or maybe they're all resonating with you and you just can't pick and choose one thing. It's okay for you not to know 100% who you want to be. It's okay to be someone that explores, to be someone who's in the discovery phase, who's trying to test things out, who's trying to figure things out. That is okay.
Speaker 1:From the time that we are young, we're bombarded right by all these messages that tell us that we need to know who we are, what we want to do, who we want to be very early on in our lives. And when you don't get to that point, it's so common and it's so easy to feel discouraged or to feel as if you have failed. Or sometimes you thought that you had gotten there and you find yourself unhappy with where you are. But it's where you thought you wanted to be and it's what you've worked so hard for, what you've worked so hard for. And then you realize that you absolutely hate it and the feelings of failure creep in, the feelings of being hard on yourself creeps in, and that is so it's so frustrating because it's a setup y'all Like. It is absolutely a setup. And so, as your life coach, okay, y'all may not be working one-on-one with me, that's all right, hear me out, it is okay. You are not a failure. You are not hopeless, hopeless. You are right where you need to be. You are right where you should be, and it is totally okay. And it is totally normal, totally normal. Nothing's wrong with you, you ain't crazy. Okay, you don't got issues Right. You are right where you need to be, and I think that this pressure to be somebody who has everything figured out starts really early in life.
Speaker 1:And I think that, culturally, there are subtle things that happen to us day by day, by day by day, and they're very subtle and they're very subtle and they're very covert and they impact us, they chip away at us and they cause this situation, right. And so, from the time, for instance, that a child is what? Like three, four years old, from the time a kid can speak, what do we always hear? Right, that people ask children what do you wanna be when you grow up? The kid is literally four years old, five years old, six years old, and yet we're asking them this. It's just, I think, an example of how this starts so early in life, asking a little five-year-old, a little six-year-old what they want to be when they grow up. And you know, we applaud the ones who give answers that coincides with what we want them to say. Right, if a little five-year-old, a little six-year-old says I want to be a firefighter when I grow up, we're like good for you, firefighter. Yeah, you know. If they say I want to be a teacher when I grow up, you're like that is so honorable and commendable right. It's like you get these positive reinforcements and, in reality, a question like that is so silly, because how do we expect a little five, six-year-old to know themselves so well and to do such deep introspective work and to know themselves so well that they can answer what they want to be for their entire adult lives? And it's just like these are subtle ways that this starts being like put into into our minds and y'all. I love the little kids who, whose answers really show how ridiculous this question is. You know, when you ask them hey, what do you want to be when you grow up? And their response is I want to be a unicorn, or I want to be a horse because I love horses, or I want to be a horse because I love horses. I love kids with those responses because it's literally showing you how, in my mind, just how like silly this question is.
Speaker 1:Like let kids be kids and then, by the time y'all that we reach high school and it's time to apply to college, for those of us that are applying, it's like well, what do you want to major in when you're in college? Then it's time to declare your major. It is time to declare at, you know 18, 19, 20 years old, what is that one thing that you want to do forever? And we go into enormous debt right, taking out student loans and all this stuff to invest into this career that we want to declare. It is just not realistic.
Speaker 1:If we don't know, we are made to feel like there's something wrong with you. If you don't know where you want to be at 25, if you don't know what you want to do at 22, or if you thought you knew at 27 and are figuring out, you don't know, or if you've spent your whole life at 45 being this thing that you declared 20 years ago, 25 years ago in college, that you wanted to be and then you realize that it's not what you want to be and it's not who you've become, you're made to feel like either you're irresponsible. Feel like either you're irresponsible like why are you switching? You know jobs, you know every few years. You're irresponsible. Or you're made to feel like you know you're lost and confused. You know not someone who is exploring and learning and growing and evolving. And I'm here to remind you guys that you absolutely are perfectly normal for being someone who's figuring things out. I think this is only problematic if it's getting in the way of you living a healthy and productive life, right. So if you, for instance, can't keep a job because you can't stay somewhere long enough to learn skills and tools and things that you'll need in order to progress in a career, that's different, right, because then it's interfering with your ability to pay your rent and to pay your bills and things like that. If it's a situation where you can't stay in a relationship long enough, for instance, like you're bouncing from relationship to relationship to relationship and you can't stay in a relationship long enough to you know, love and be loved and something is always getting in the way of you being able to stay in a long, lasting, healthy relationship, then, yes, that is a problem, right, that is a problem. But other than that, we need to stop making each other feel bad for exploring and growing and trying different things.
Speaker 1:I am someone who likes to try different stuff. I've always been like that. I've always been someone who likes to like try different things. I have had so many habits and so many things like, even when I was a child, in school, and it's so crazy because when you're a little kid, it's encouraged, right, like I would go to my father and I would say I want to do cheerleading. It was like, okay, great, you go be a cheerleader girl, you go be a cheerleader. I want to be on a math team Okay, great, you go be on a math team. I want to try out for the step team Okay, great, go try out for the step team. I want to be in student government Go ahead, go be in the student government. I want to be in choir Go be part of the choir. And these are all things that I've actually done, like I've been on. You know, all of these I've done, including other things. I want to be in the drama club. Go be in the drama club.
Speaker 1:Like it's so encouraged when you're a child but yet, as an adult, the fact that I have so many habits and so many things that I'm interested in somehow the very same thing that is encouraged for a child, right, some kids, um, as an adult, it's it's like you're always doing different stuff, and I even had somebody who shall remain unnamed. Should I even say this, because I feel like this person knows who they are. If I say what this person has said, I feel like they don't know that they're the one that said it and if they ever come across this podcast, so maybe'm not gonna say it, um, but yeah, like sometimes it's the very same thing self-exploration and growth and stuff like that people see it differently. It's like you always starting something, you always doing something, like you always one moment you want to be an author, next moment you wanna do this, you wanna do that, and it's like, yeah, what's the problem? Exactly? You know, you are not going to make me feel bad about being someone who loves to try new things and being someone who loves to explore. Like we're not fitting to do that. Okay, there's nothing wrong with that. It really.
Speaker 1:This topic really resonated and spoke within my heart because I'm about to embark on a new adventure and I've embarked on many adventures. It's so funny because I, when it comes to my nine to five and my professional work, that has always been consistent. Like I mean, I've been at the same job for for like eight years and every job I've had before then, um, at least two to three years that I've been at those jobs, and the only reason I left those jobs is because either they were contract work and I had to leave because the contract wasn't renewed, or because I got laid off because you know capitalism. But when it comes to being creative and when it comes to hobbies and when it comes to habits, I've always just like I, the world is at my feet and the world is a playground to me and I just, I, just I love exploring different things. But, yeah, like I am getting ready to embark on a new journey. Right, I've been coaching people unofficially for many, many years and I've also been, you know, counseling and supporting and coaching people through nonprofits and through social service work. And I'm about, you know, I'm getting ready to start my own business.
Speaker 1:And I know that I'm getting people who are, like, what are you doing?
Speaker 1:What are you doing? What is wrong with you? Like, girl, what is wrong with you? What are you doing? You have this career. You've worked so hard to get to where you know you are. Why would you start over? What if this isn't successful? Like, why are you always trying? Why are you always trying to like, do something different? Like, why are you always trying to like, do something different? Like, why are you like this? Why can't you just be happy with where you're at and what you're doing? And you know I'm getting that push back.
Speaker 1:Like I'm getting people and they mean well, right, like people who are like no, like, stay where you are, do what you. You do what you're doing, like you know, this is consistent, this is stable and it's like no, no, no, this is something that I want to do and it is perfectly okay and it is perfectly normal, and I would rather try something and have it not work out than for me to wonder what if? That's like the new mentality that I have, right, like that's where I'm at at this point in my life. I don't want to continue living with regrets. I don't want to continue wondering what if? And I don't want that for the people that I coach, I don't want that for my friends, for my family, and I don't want that for y'all. And so I am here to tell you explore those things you want to explore, try those things that you want to try, do those things that you want to do, see what works, see what doesn't work. It's okay to pivot, it's okay to switch things up. It's okay. It is okay, all right, okay, if you've made it this far into the podcast episode.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much for just listening and hopefully this was helpful for you guys. Hopefully it was impactful for someone who may be feeling the emotions and the feelings I talked about in the episode. Thank you so much. I do appreciate you for listening If it has been helpful, please, please, please, please, please, leave a five-star rating right, because we're five-star girlies over here. Leave a five-star rating letting me know that you loved the podcast episode. We are on Apple Podcasts. We are on Spotify. We are also on YouTube, so like, subscribe, comment on YouTube. If you're watching on YouTube, I will leave in the comment not the comment section the description section on YouTube and in the show notes where you can reach me if you want to work with me one-on-one or if you're interested in getting more individualized support. I will leave that in the show notes for you guys. That is it for this episode, episode 13., and I'll see you guys in the next episode. Bye you.