I Can Faith That!
How to go from a stressful and anxious life to one filled with self-care, faith and self-love.
I Can Faith That!
EP 11 | "Being Single is So Lonely, How Can I Show Love To Me Right Now?"
Are you single and feeling lonely? Do you want to learn how to romance yourself and make yourself feel special in your single season? This episode is for you.
Discover the transformative art of romanticizing life, embracing creativity and seeking beauty in the everyday.
Imagine finding joy in the simple act of buying yourself flowers—it's more than just a gesture; it's a profound statement of self-love. Picture writing love notes to yourself or savoring the process of crafting the perfect homemade matcha latte. Perhaps you can enhance life’s daily rituals—like transforming travel with a stylish suitcase or setting the mood when you get ready for bed with music and candles—to bring a sense of peace and fulfillment.
We explore innovative ways to enrich your life through small acts of self-care and mindfulness. Join us as we empower you to turn the ordinary into the extraordinary, making every moment a celebration of who you are and who you aspire to be.
Where You Can Find Me:
Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/5BbC588eUekngi5QkrRbss
Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/i-can-faith-that/id1766168795
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@I-Can-Faith-That
Tik Tok: / i.can.faith.that
Instagram: Coming Soon
For Business Inquiries (collaborations, speaking engagements, sponsorships, etc): trishjluvv@gmail.com
Hey guys, welcome to another episode of the I Can Faith that podcast. This is episode 11. So exciting. I am your host and your coach, trish. Today I'm all smiley, y'all I'm all smiley.
Speaker 1:It is the day after Thanksgiving. Hopefully you had a decent holiday. I know that sometimes the holidays are very tough for some people. If that was the case for you and you had a very difficult time, I just want to say that you did it. You got through it, okay.
Speaker 1:So today's topic, I thought, was it only made sense, right, it makes sense to talk about this during this time of year. How do we learn to make the best out of our stressful life? How do we learn to romanticize the life that we're currently living when it's not the most ideal, right, when it's not where you thought you would be in your life, or maybe there's a lot that's happening that's stressful? I am a huge believer in not waiting for someone else to give you the type of life that you want to live. I can't be sitting around waiting for somebody else to come into my life and start treating me with love. Okay, I can't do that, I can't be doing that, and I highly recommend that you don't do that either. So what are some things that I've started doing to romanticize the life that I'm currently living? Take what works for you, leave what doesn't. Just think about the concepts in no particular order. One of the things that's really dope about romance and love and being with someone is that you get to truly do fun and creative things with that person, and you get to explore a side of yourself with someone else and take them along that journey with you. And when you don't have another person whether you have another person to do that with or not the person to do that with or not I highly recommend that you do that with yourself.
Speaker 1:And so the first thing that I'm going to talk about out of the 10 is that I take the time out to be creative. It has been so fun exploring my creative side. It has felt amazing, and while it would be great to share in this creative journey that I'm on with someone else, until I can do that, I am sharing it with me. It's just being creative, taking the time out to explore a side of yourself that you normally don't explore. For me, that's creativity, right? I have always just been school very analytical, focused on academics, focused on intellect right, doing intellectual things. I have a career that's very much like logistics and I don't get to really be all that creative, and so it's been amazing being on this creative journey with me myself and I, and that is definitely something I would highly recommend for those of you who are starting your journey towards learning how to romanticize the life that you're currently living.
Speaker 1:And yeah, the second thing that I want to talk about is that I have started buying myself flowers. I buy myself flowers about once or twice a month, depending on how long I can get the flowers to last, and I try. You know, I buy myself something different every time. So the most recent flowers that I bought beautiful, they're so gorgeous. They're so beautiful. They're bright yellow and I have had them going on three weeks now and they're still looking really good.
Speaker 1:I'm very proud of myself. Okay, I'm proud of me, but yeah, I love flowers. I love flowers. I think they're so beautiful. I love how they make me feel. The colors are vibrant. I love, I love flowers like I am that girl. You know, I am absolutely that girl. Get me flowers and I am happy.
Speaker 1:I don't care for the chocolates, don't care for the stuffed animals and the teddy bear, you could save your money on that, don't? You don't need to do that for me, okay. Chocolate and stuffed animals and stuff. Teddy bear, you could save your money on that. You don't need to do that for me, okay. Chocolate and stuffed animals and stuff, I don't care. But flowers, baby, get me them, flowers. It will always put a smile on my face. I've started getting myself flowers.
Speaker 1:Why do I have to wait? Why do you have to wait for someone else to get you the things that spark joy for you, right? Why do you have to wait for a romantic partner to do that for you? If you're single, if you're not single, you don't have to only put that on your partner. You, too, can start getting those little things that make you smile, that put a smile on your face and that make you feel special. And yeah, so that would be. The second tip that I would give is buy yourself some flowers. If flowers aren't that thing for you. Whatever that thing is thing for you. Whatever that thing is, is it plans? Is it maybe you adopt a cat or a pet that you know you're going to love unconditionally? Whatever that thing is that puts a smile on your face, learn to put that smile on your own face and learn to do that for you. You don't have to wait for someone else to do it for you.
Speaker 1:The third thing that I do to romanticize my life, and that you can try as well, is I journal. So in a relationship, I am someone who loves like little notes. I love it. I love like a good morning text. I love little like text messages throughout the day. I love, you know, leaving little notes here and there. It just makes me feel like someone's thinking about me. It makes me feel like someone cares, and in my journal I make sure to do several things. Right, it is an opportunity for me to process things that aren't going so great in my life, but I also use it as a way to remind myself about like things that I love about me and things that I'm doing very well in and things that I need to cheer myself up about. And you know little like. It's like a little love note to myself sometimes. Right, you could do an affirmations jar if, like writing in a journal, isn't it for you. You can do affirmation jar where you affirm something about yourself that you did well, something that you learned, something that you're proud of a situation that you handled in a way that makes you feel happy, and you can just keep tabs of those. If you love writing and you love getting little love notes, that is a tip. Write them for yourself, put them in a jar, put them in a journal and romanticize the awesome you that you're becoming. So the fourth thing that I do to romanticize the life that I am living one of the things that I I keep saying one of the things, one of the things. One of the things, one of the things.
Speaker 1:But another thing that I love about being in a happy, healthy relationship is the fact that you have someone else to help do, like, little acts of service for yourself. And when you are by yourself and you don't have that or let's say, you're in a relationship in which you don't receive that a lot Acts of service, sometimes, if that's something that makes you feel special, it's often, you know, you can feel a little disheartened, and so I like to do little acts of service for me, and so, for example, I love making myself a latte. I actually have a matcha latte in the fridge right now. I told myself I need to record this, and if I record this episode of the podcast, I can treat myself to my matcha. Okay, another tip on how to motivate yourself, but that's going to be a different podcast episode. Stay tuned for that one how to motivate yourself when you're feeling like you're procrastinating a little too much. Feeling like you're procrastinating a little too much. But yeah, I love making myself a little matcha.
Speaker 1:I love teas in general, so I'll make myself a chai, I'll make myself a matcha. Can I just go to the cafe that's two, three blocks down and get it? Absolutely, I can do that, but it's just nice to do something for me, right? So when I make my teas, I make them how I like them. I put the ingredients that I want in them. I can make sure that they're healthy versions, right, so that they're healthy and not unhealthy, and I turn it into a whole process. It's a whole vibe. Okay, it's a vibe, right. Light a candle, I get the ingredients. I listen to some jazz or some lo-fi music. It's just I sip it, you know, while reading a book, sometimes like I'm not reading a book, I just I'm journaling. Or sometimes I'm just like curled up in my blankie watching a rom-com while sipping on my chai.
Speaker 1:Oh baby, I feel like I'm a main character in a romance novel or in a romance like movie and it feels so good doing little acts of service for myself, doing little acts of kindness for myself and, you know, taking something that I could easily just like go buy or go have someone else do for me that I love, and just do it for myself and really relish in the whole experience of doing it and making it like a whole vibe, a whole calming experience. So the fifth thing I think we're on number five, yes, we are. The fifth thing that I have started doing to romanticize the life that I'm currently living is once a month I will buy something nice for me, I will buy myself a gift, and it doesn't have to be something expensive. It's something that you're buying for you that is either going to make your life a little easier or something that's going to put a smile on your face, something that is just a little something, something that just is going to make you feel special, right, it could be that if you love fragrances, for example, right, maybe once a month you get yourself a sample size a little $12 sample size of a perfume. If that's what you can afford. It varies In the last few months that I've started doing this.
Speaker 1:So in October I actually no, in September I bought myself carry-on luggage and I talked about it in a previous podcast episode, where I was struggling every time that I had to travel because I had a backpack and a duffel bag and both of those things you have to carry on your back, right, and so my neck would hurt, my back would hurt. It'd be such a struggle every time I had to travel. And so in September I just got myself a little carry-on, a little carry-on with wheels. It's one of the 360 wheels. It was like 50 bucks and it was awesome. Now I don't have to carry things on my back. So that's what I did for myself in September.
Speaker 1:In October I had a funeral that I needed to travel to go to. I treated myself to my own hotel room, right, like I didn't want to have to spend the entire weekend with family because I knew that, you know, emotions would be really high and it would just be a lot right, and I needed to have a space that I can go to so that I can just kind of breathe. I treated myself to a hotel room in October, and that's that's. That's what I used my fun money for Um in November, I bought myself a couple of Middle Eastern fragrances. Okay, because I love fragrances, I love scented body products. I love to smell good I do. I love smelling good. It makes me feel good to smell good. So I got a couple of affordable Middle Eastern fragrances. But, yeah, so, like every month, I just choose one thing that I treat myself to. What I choose is going to be different, right, because we all make different incomes and different money, and so it doesn't have to be expensive. You can tailor it to you and your needs.
Speaker 1:The sixth thing that I have started doing to romanticize the life that I'm currently living is taking different periods of the day and turning it into like a love fest, right? So bedtime, for instance, like you have to get ready for bed after you've had a long day at work. Sometimes it can feel, you know, like a little like having to get ready for bed. It's. It can feel like a chore. You're sleepy, you're exhausted. Sometimes maybe you are still feeling stressed out and overwhelmed from whatever that happened that day and it could feel a chore. So take something that you have to do periods throughout your day that you have to do anyway and just turn it into a beautiful, love, lovely moment.
Speaker 1:So now when I'm brushing my teeth, I'll have a podcast that I listen to, or sometimes I'll listen to lo-fi music, or I'll listen to R&B like 90s R&B music and you know, I use that time as like a spa time and, you know, I'll light a candle, maybe you can have a bubble bath. I like to take a nice hot shower and it just feels relaxing. And so bedtime has now become this, you know, instead of a chore, it's become this like fun thing. You could use it when getting ready, you know, in the morning, right, I've started doing this. So when I wake up, right, sometimes it's hard to get ready in the morning, so I've started kind of listening to podcasts, listen to music while I take a shower, like bringing a little mini speaker into the bathroom, and you know, listening to music while I shower. You know, get ready, brush my teeth, do my hair, like put on my lotion, you know, put on my outfit while I iron my clothes, I'm listening to something that is fun or funny or distract, that distracts me, something that's enjoyable Sometimes I'll listen to, like a funny morning morning radio show, like whatever it is. So that getting ready in the morning stops being a chore and it becomes like an opportunity to do something enjoyable while maybe doing something that may not be as enjoyable.
Speaker 1:So the seventh thing that I have started doing to romanticize the life that I'm living is not waiting for a partner to affirm me. So I have started being very intentional about practicing words of affirmation to myself, and this is one of the things that I am a work in progress. Right, I am someone who sets very high expectations for myself. Right, I am someone who sets very high expectations for myself. I y'all, I just feel like I am superwoman, and when I'm not operating in superwomanhood, I can be a little hard on myself. Like, girl, you had a thousand things to do today and you only did 995 of those thousand things. You failed. You know, I just, I just am like that. So this is something that I have to actively work on. But, yeah, making sure to affirm you, not waiting to be in a relationship to do it.
Speaker 1:If you are in a relationship with your partner, not only getting affirmations from them. That is a lot of pressure, a lot of responsibility to put on someone, to make them the sole reason that you feel affirmed, to make them the sole person in your life who affirms you. Start doing that for you. You could do the affirmations jar that I mentioned earlier. However, you need to do that. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself how beautiful you are. Maybe, instead of focusing on the things that you haven't gotten, start focusing on the things that you do have. If you're on a path or a journey, start celebrating the little steps that you take. It is so helpful and it is so beneficial, and it is definitely something that I've started doing is intentionally affirming myself every day. It's been great, like if you look in the mirror and you ain't got no pimple on your face that day, girl, you ain't got no pimples today. Go ahead, go ahead, skin. Look at you, skin doing what you do. Thank you, boo. It could be something as simple as that.
Speaker 1:The eighth thing that I do to romanticize the life that I'm currently living is spending time with me In a relationship. It's beautiful to spend time with someone else, right To spend quality time with your partner, and that is amazing, but it's also important, whether you're in a relationship or not, to spend quality time with yourself, to really learn yourself, learn what you love, learn what you enjoy. I have the most fun when I'm with myself. I just love being with me. I love being with myself, y'all and you can do the things that you love when you love to do it.
Speaker 1:Like when I spend a day with myself, I don't have to worry about what I'm eating, because I'm eating whatever in the world I want to eat. I don't have to worry about what I'm watching and making sure that whoever I'm with is going to like it or enjoy it or find something that's going to entertain the both of us, that both of us will enjoy or that all of us will enjoy, because whatever I watch is what I want to watch. I can do whatever I want. I can spend my day how I want to spend my day. I can spend it reading a book. I can spend it watching true crime. I can spend it watching rom-coms back to back. I can do whatever I want in that moment that I'm spending time with myself, and I highly advise that you guys start incorporating that into your life. It is so fun. It is so fun. It's so fun spending quality time with you.
Speaker 1:So the ninth thing that I have someone to talk to when I need to be vulnerable, and the beautiful thing about being in a relationship is that you have your person right. You have your person there who you can go to. When things are going good, when things aren't going good, you have that person that you can cry to, you can cry on their shoulder and they can be that support system. And while you always want to be that person for yourself as well, sometimes you just need someone else right To be on your side, to love yourself so much that you don't only wait for a romantic partner to be that for you, that you seek to have that as part of your life. It could be your family, it could be a really trusted friend, your pastor, whatever it is to make sure that you are surrounding yourself with people that care about you, that I can be fully myself, fully real, fully raw with, and I can be authentic and vulnerable, I can celebrate joy and happiness and good things and process with, and it's a beautiful thing. So definitely recommend that.
Speaker 1:And that leads me to the 10th and final point making sure that you get help when you need it. It is so beautiful to love yourself so much that when you need assistance and help, you don't let your ego. You don't let your pride get in the way, and when you're in a romantic relationship, you have that person right that you go to to help you with things. It could be something small, like can you help me open the jar? You know I can't open this jar. Or can you help me hang this up on the wall? Can you help me? I don't know. Whatever it may be, it's really romantic and it's really beautiful to make sure that you ask for help when you need it and you don't feel like only you can do for you, that you are in this world alone, that you have nobody to help you with anything, that if you don't do it yourself you're weak or you have to be hyper independent. It is really beautiful and really romantic to love yourself so much that you seek help when you need it, and that may be with little things. You know, having somebody help you move, you know, instead of trying to move on your own, loving yourself so much that you don't overwhelm yourself out of fear or ego of having others help you.
Speaker 1:So that is it for this episode of the podcast. Episode 11 is done. That is it, y'all. I can go have my matcha now, because I told myself I can't treat myself to the matcha that I made until I've recorded this episode. That was my way of holding myself accountable. So I'm about to go do that drink my matcha, maybe pop some popcorn, probably watch a little something on Netflix, give myself an hour, hour and a half, treat myself for recording this podcast episode and then get back to being productive. That is the plan for the day. Thank you so much. I'm grateful for you. I appreciate you. If you found this helpful, please like, comment, subscribe. If you're on YouTube, um, if you are listening on Apple podcasts, um, and Spotify, please leave a five-star rating. Let me know that this was helpful for you. We want five stars, five stars, alrighty, that is it, and I will see you guys in the next podcast episode, which is episode 12. Bye, thank you.