I Can Faith That!
How to go from a stressful and anxious life to one filled with self-care, faith and self-love.
I Can Faith That!
EP 08 | "I Have a Strong Personality, Can I Be a 'Good' Christian Woman?"
In this episode we explore the powerful characteristics of the Proverbs 31 woman, a figure who inspires us to redefine what it means to be a woman of faith. We learn that a woman is far more than society says that she should be. A faithful woman is a woman of talents, skills, and passions. She is of noble character, uplifts other women and her influence expands far beyond the four walls of her home. She is resourceful, proactive, and influential.
Together, we’ll explore the importance of self-care, tangible goal setting, and the pursuit of personal growth and empowerment in 2025. I hope to inspire listeners to embrace the strength, dignity, and generosity that define a Proverbs 31 woman, for she is truly transformative.
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Hey guys, welcome to episode 8 of the I Can Faith that podcast. I am your host, trish. Welcome to the show, welcome welcome. I am so excited to have you today. I'm going to talk about a controversial topic, but it is sitting within my heart and my spirit okay to talk about this today, and it is the idea of how a woman is supposed to be, or what should a woman be like, or what should a woman be like, and so many people have thoughts and opinions about this and, in full transparency, I'm going to be real with y'all.
Speaker 1:The idea that I've always heard from Christian people about how a woman should be was always like, you know, she should be barefoot and pregnant. And so for me it was just like okay, so he wants me to be barefoot and pregnant. And so for me, it was just like okay, so he wants me to be barefoot and pregnant. Why would he instill talents and skills and interests and passions Like why would I be born with that stuff? Why would that stuff be a part of me? Why would that stuff be ingrained in me if I'm never supposed to use it? Why would he give me a brain and allow me to like, think and process and strategize and work through things. Why would he give me a voice to be heard? Why would he give me a mouth to speak my voice if I'm not supposed to be using any of it? What is happening here? Why waste time instilling all of these things in me if I'm not supposed to use them? A lot of times, these things in me, if I'm not supposed to use them? A lot of times, christian people will talk about what Christ wants and, in reality, is not what Christ wants. It's what they want Christ to want. I wanted to see, like what do you want of me? What do you want me to be? And, baby, when I asked that question and I went to scripture to try to find the answer and I was so blown away and my jaw dropped to the ground Okay, my jaw was on the floor. It was on the floor, and by the end of today's podcast episode, your jaw gonna be on the floor too, because God wants us to be so dope, so fly, so amazing. It actually makes me excited. To strive to be that type of woman, like to be the woman that God is saying he wants me to be is freaking exciting, oh Lord. I said freaking. Oh, my God, you working with me. Forgive me, please, forgive me, please. I'm a work in progress, but it's so exciting and like, it's so beautiful and it's so amazing, so let's get to it. I am actually going to be going from the new international version, the new international um, the NIV version of the Bible, so let's get into it.
Speaker 1:What is a Proverbs 31 woman? Let's get to it, okay. So first off the bat, right, I was shooketh. First off the bat, like he, he shook me.
Speaker 1:A wife of noble character who can find she is worth far more than rubies, and this is just verse 10. Maybe we got 10 through 31. Okay, so we got like 21 of these bad boys. So, right off the bat character and what I loved, she is worth far more than rubies.
Speaker 1:Ladies, we are valuable, we are precious, and this made me think about when dating, the number one question that you always hear is well, what does she bring to the table? And, ladies, if you are a single and you come across a man who want to talk about what you bring to the table, what value do you have? Run, okay, because this scripture is letting you know that you, in and of yourself, if you are a woman of noble character, if you are a woman of virtue and respect and dignity, and if you carry yourself, you are kind, you are caring, you are loving. These are all characteristics of nobility, right, these are all characteristics that make you noble. If you embody a noble character, you, in and of yourself, are extremely valuable and that is what you bring to the table. What do I bring to the table? I bring me, and I am precious and I am valuable, and all those other things are extra. My salary is extra, my title is extra, my beauty is extra, everything else is extra. And so that just immediately, like baby, I was like, oh, oh, you coming strong, lord, you coming at me strong. Okay, verse 11, right, her husband has full confidence in her and she lacks nothing of value. What I want for you as a woman is for you to be with a man who has full confidence in you and who does not lack any value in you. That's what I want. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. The type of woman I want you to be is a woman who brings good to your partner. I want you to be a woman who does no harm to others, simply because that's who you are all the days of your life. Baby, baby. Verse 13,.
Speaker 1:She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. God wants us to be a woman who's eager to contribute. She selects wool, she selects flax with her hands. She and she's. She works with eager hands. She's excited to contribute. She's not someone who just wants to take, take, take, take, take, take, take, take. She's not a user. She's not a gold digger. She's not a user. She's excited to contribute to her family. She's excited to contribute to her household. She's excited to contribute to her society, to her family. She's excited to contribute to her household. She's excited to contribute to her society, to her community.
Speaker 1:She takes what's around her and she's eager to work with her hands. She is like the merchant ships bringing her food from afar. Not only will she take the wool and the flax that's around her, but, baby, she is resourceful. Okay, god wants us, as women, to be resourceful. She's like a merchant ship and she will bring food from afar. That means that if what she needs and what she wants and what her children need and what they want, and what her family needs and what they want and what her community needs and what they want requires that she goes out and find it and seek it and get it and bring it back. That is exactly what she's going to do. She is resourceful. That is exactly what she's going to do. She is resourceful. She doesn't sit around waiting for her man to come save her. She doesn't sit around just complaining about what she does not have. She's like a merchant ship. Okay, she brings her food from afar. Baby, I got Bible. From afar. Baby, I got Bible. Okay, I got Bible. This is dope, I'm telling you.
Speaker 1:So the next verse, she gets up while it is still night. She provides food for her family and she portions for her female servants. She's not lazy. God don't want us to be lazy. God don't want us to be sitting around doing absolutely nothing with ourselves and nothing with our lives. She gets up while it's in the middle of the night. That means that, whether it's day, whether it's night, if her family needs something, whatever it is, she's always ready, ready. She provides food for her family. She provides food for her family and this is the best part and portions for her female servants Servants.
Speaker 1:At the time that the Bible was written was just another word for workers, right, people who work for you. People who work in your household and work, you know, tend to like your fields and stuff. They were, they were your, your workers. So listen, ladies, god wants us not just to provide food for our family right To do for yourself, to provide for yourself, to provide for those that you love and care for. Right To help in the provision of the household. He also wants you to help other women. Be the type of woman who doesn't only care about you and yours. Be the type of woman who helps other women as well. Not only does your immediate family and your immediate household benefit from knowing you. Other women will benefit from knowing you too. If you are not the type of woman who is fixing another woman's crown, you are not living the way that God wants you to be Baby, baby and I saw a quote a few months ago that and I'm going to butcher it, but it was so beautiful to me.
Speaker 1:It was something along the lines of I want to be the type of woman who can fix another woman's crown without having to announce to the world that it was crooked, something like that or like I want to be the type of woman who can pick up another woman's crown and put it on her head without having to announce to the world that it had fallen. Something along those lines. Remember seeing that quote and just thinking like that is so beautiful and how important it is for us, as women, to support each other, to support other women, to grow in faith with other women, to grow in community with other women, and it was so powerful to me to read that quote and when I saw it also repeated in scripture, it just solidified to me that that is who I want to be, right and we can bring that to the workplace. We can bring that wherever we are right.
Speaker 1:So when I saw that, my interpretation so I am actually a senior manager at an agency right now. That's the role that I play. That's not who I am. That is the role that I am playing in this season of my life as a senior manager. If there are women that are interested in becoming senior managers, if there are women that are interested in becoming project managers, if there are women that are interested in becoming program managers, if they are not given the opportunities, the skills, the lessons, if they're not mentored in a way where they can apply for those roles after working on my team and working with me, then I have failed them as a leader. I have failed them. I have absolutely failed them.
Speaker 1:And so this part, this verse, was just so beautiful and meaningful and powerful to me. And as I'm reading the scriptures this is what I do as I read it, any scripture right that I'm seeking to get answers from God and I'm seeking to get wisdom I think about okay, what am I doing currently that is pleasing God, and what are things that I'm not doing enough, of that I can do more of? And so, as I'm reading this, I was just thinking about ways that I can start incorporating it in my own life and becoming the type of woman that he wants me to be, and it's just really powerful and amazing. But let's continue, because maybe that ain't it Okay. I don't know where people got this whole barefoot and pregnant sit around, be weak, be seen, not heard. Where they got that from, I don't know.
Speaker 1:She considers a field, but does she just consider it? Absolutely not. She considers a field and buys it Out of her earnings. She plants a vineyard. God wants us not only to be resourceful, but but she's also someone. If she sees something that's of value, she's going to go for it. If she sees something that's beneficial, she's going to tap into it. If she sees a resource that will help her husband, help her children, help her family, with her own earnings, with her own power, with her own doing, she will take that field, multiply it and turn it into an entire vineyard. Baby, does that sound like he wants you to be? To be docile and weak? Does that sound like that to you? Because that don't sound like that to me. I was just blown away, y'all. I'm gonna keep going. Okay, I'm gonna keep going. I'm in the Bible. These ain't my words. This is scripture, y'all. This is the Bible and that's why I'm telling you guys always go to scripture when you need answers. Okay, let's keep going. Verse 17 out of 31. Let's keep going. Verse 17 out of 31.
Speaker 1:She sets about her work vigorously. Her arms are strong for her tasks. Now, you can interpret work however you want to interpret it. It doesn't necessarily mean you go to a corporate job and go to an office and work a nine to five. It means that her part job and go to an office and work a nine to five. It means that her part the role that she is to play. She does it and she does it vigorously. She does it wholeheartedly. She contributes to her household with umph and with excitement and with eagerness. Her arms are strong for her tasks. She's a woman of strength. Literally it says her arms are strong for her tasks. I don't hear it says that she's weak, weak, weak, weak, weak. I don't, I don't y'all weak, weak, weak, I don't, I don't y'all, y'all y'all. Verse 18.
Speaker 1:She sees that her trading is profitable. She sees that her trading is profitable and her lamp does not go out at night. Her trading is profitable. She doesn't sit around and just wait for her husband to do everything. She sees that her trading is profitable and her lamp does not go out at night when something is working. If she sees that the direction that they're going towards is a direction that is profitable, is a direction that is beneficial to her family and to her household, her lamp don't go out at night. She's right alongside her husband. She's right beside him holding the fort down. You can't hold no fort down if you a weakling now. You can't do that.
Speaker 1:In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindles with her fingers. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. God wants us to be giving women, to be giving women. He wants you not only to give to those that you love and care for, but to also give to those who need it, those who may not be able to do for themselves. He wants you to portion the foods and give to your female servants. He wants you to extend a hand to the needy, and what I love about this is that it says she opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. It's not just, oh, when somebody asks you for something, you give them, but that you notice and you recognize those that are in need and you actively extend a hand to them and actively give to those who need it. It may not necessarily be financially. You know what I mean. She gives to those in need. If you see another person who's poor in faith and who's poor in spirituality, and you can extend a lending hand and you can encourage love and support and motivation, do that. If you see another woman or another man or whoever someone who's poor in self-confidence or who's poor in their belief in themselves, and you can extend a hand and help them, do that hand and help them do that.
Speaker 1:Baby, god ain't playing. He ain't coming to play with us. He's not playing with us. He's not playing, and I love it. I love the idea of embodying being this type of woman. It excites me, it makes me so happy, it's so amazing. Let's keep going. He ain't done.
Speaker 1:Verse 21. When it snows, she has no fear for her household, for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She is a woman. When the weather gets a little rocky, when things get a little shaky, she ain't got no fear. She ain't got no fear Because she knows everything's going to be all right.
Speaker 1:Verse 22. She makes coverings for her bed. She is clothed in fine linen and purple. God wants you to take care of yourself. He wants you to have to make sure that you have the best. If you're doing all of the other things that he wants you to be doing, it is okay for you to take care of you. Ladies. She makes coverings for her bed. Her bed is looking beautiful. Her bed is looking gorgeous. She is clothed in fine linen. Okay, fine, linen. Okay, she cute, she fine. Okay, fine linen. Okay, she cute, she fine. That's all right, as long as you're doing. You're of noble character and you're doing all of these things. He wants you to take care of you. He wants you to have the best of the best. He wants you clothed in fine linen and your beds with beautiful coverings. He wants that. I just I can't, I can't y'all Like. This is so amazing, amazing, verse 23,. Her husband is respected at the city gate where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. God, what do you want of me? I want you to have a husband that's respected. I want you to have a husband of character. I want you to have a husband that takes his seat among the elders of the land. Elders tend to be synonymous with wisdom.
Speaker 1:She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. She is clothed with strength and dignity and she can laugh at the days to come. Let me read that one more time for you guys. She makes linen garments and sells them. She's able to not only produce, but she produces abundantly and in excess, and her, her excess production is valuable to the merchants and it allows them to have sashes. Whatever, whatever you are going to put before her, you give her these items, okay, oh, she going to make linen garments and she going to make so many of them, that she's going to be able to sell them and all the merchants of the land are going to be able to have sashes and benefit from what she produced. She takes what's before her and she multiplies it by a thousand. She takes what's before her and what she receives and what she gives out she gives out in abundance. She's going to take whatever situation that's in front of her and what's going to be returned, what you gave to her and what is going to be returned by her baby. She is clothed with strength and dignity. She can laugh at the days to come. She is clothed with strength and dignity. She can laugh at the days to come. She is clothed with strength and dignity. It straight out says that God wants us to have strength, wants us to be strong, wants us to have dignity in ourselves. She can laugh at days to come because she's so strong, she has so much dignity and strength that, no matter what comes her way, baby, whatever you try to bring her way, to try to destroy her, she can laugh at days to come. We're going to keep going. Verse 26. Okay, we're almost there. There's 31 of them, 26.
Speaker 1:She speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue and faithful instruction is on her tongue. God wants us to speak with wisdom, ladies. He wants us to be wise. He wants us to clothe, you know, to have faithful instruction on our tongue.
Speaker 1:How do you speak?
Speaker 1:How do you speak to yourself?
Speaker 1:How do you speak to your husband?
Speaker 1:How do you speak to your boyfriend?
Speaker 1:How do you speak to your husband?
Speaker 1:How do you speak to your boyfriend?
Speaker 1:How do you speak to your children?
Speaker 1:How do you speak to your family?
Speaker 1:How do you speak to strangers? How do you speak, ladies? Do you speak with a faithful tongue? Do you speak kindness, faithful tongue? Do you speak kindness or are you passive, aggressive? Are you rooting for people's success or are you secretly bashing them and gossiping and wanting them to fail? Are you wise? Do you seek wisdom? Do you try to learn? Do you try to grow? You can't speak with wisdom if you don't seek it. So why would he want you to be seen and unheard? And why would the only place he wants you to be is in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant, if he's turning around and asking you that? He wants you to have a faithful tongue. He wants you to be wise. He wants you to be clothed in strength and dignity make it make sense. And if you don't go to the scripture and see and read it for yourself, you're going to have a misrepresentation of what it is to be a Christian. You're going to have a misrepresentation of what it is to walk with Christ, and then you're going to end up being one of those people who look at other people who are Christians and think that they're stupid or they're silly or they're goofy or they're misinformed for being that way, when in reality you're the one who's misinformed, when in reality you're the one who's misinformed. We're almost done, y'all Okay.
Speaker 1:She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Baby, she watches over the affairs of her household and she does not eat the bread of idleness. She don't see something happening in her home and she's just sitting there acting dumb, pretending like she don't see it, doing nothing about it. She watches over the affairs of her home. She makes sure that things are okay. If she notices something is off with her child and that her child needs assistance, she not just going to do nothing and be like oh God's got me. She don't eat the bread of idleness. She don't sit around being idle doing nothing about the situation. She don't act like she don't play dumb. She don't act like she don't see stuff. She don't act like she blind. I don't see that. I don't see him doing that. I don't see my man doing that. He not. I don't see it. That's not. That's not how she is. She watches over the affairs of her household. If she notices that something is off with her husband, she's not just gonna just sit there and do nothing about it. If she notices that he needs her, she's not just going to not do anything because it's too hard. She watches over the affairs of her household, okay, and she don't eat the bread of idleness. It's. Am I in theleness? Am I in the Bible? I'm in the Bible, y'all.
Speaker 1:Her children arise and call her blessed. Her husband also, and he praises her and he praises her. Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. Her children see her worth and her value and her husband praises her. It doesn't say that God wants us to be in a household where our husband and our man is yelling at us and disrespecting us and abusing us physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially. That's not what it says. That's not what it says. He wants you yelled at and disrespected, and he wants you talked bad about and shamed, and that ain't what it says. Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. If you were embodying all of these things and you are doing your best to exemplify the type of woman that we just talked about and you are in a relationship in which you are not being valued and respected and praised and and honored, that's what God wants for you, that's what God wants for me, that's what God wants for us. Ladies, ladies, take out the Bible and, last but not least, verse 31,. Honor her for all that her hands have done and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
Speaker 1:I think I'm done, I'm done, I'm done, I'm done, I just I'm. I think I'm done, I'm done, I'm done, I'm done. I just I'm done, I'm done. I think y'all got it. I think y'all got it. I think you understood the point that I was trying to make. I think y'all got it. I don't think I need to keep going. I think y'all got it.
Speaker 1:So y'all, the next time that you engage in a conversation with someone who's trying to tell you how they think a woman should be. Show them this video. If you're watching on YouTube, okay. If you are listening on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, okay, bring them to this episode. And if you are a woman who is walking in faith, study the scripture. Really go deep. That's what I'm about to do. That's what I'm about to do.
Speaker 1:I'm about to spend the next two months really evaluating what aspects of these characteristics and traits that I truly embody and what aspects of them that I can do better in, and how. In what ways am I going to do better in them? What are some things that I'm going to incorporate? Some tangible things, some actual things I'm going to incorporate into my own life so that I can become a better Proverbs 31 woman. That's what I'm going to do for the next two months and then, when I set my new year's resolutions and my new year's goals and my vision board for 2025, because I'm into all that kind of stuff. I know some of y'all don't like it, but it is what it is. I love stuff like that I'm going to make sure that I am embodying the Proverbs 31 woman into my vision board. I'm going to create my goals for the new year based off of what God wants me to be and how God wants me to be and what God wants me to do and the type of woman that he wants me to be, and that is what I'm going to strive to be in 2025. So my new year's resolutions and my vision board is going to incorporate things like giving giving back to the community. I'm going to have different goals set for how I can do that.
Speaker 1:One of the things I was thinking about is mentoring a young, a young woman somehow, whether it's one-to-one mentoring or or um, uh, and and I have a young lady in mind at work that I really want to mentor and to help and grow her being that I'm in a position of leadership and I can do that Take her under my wing and mentor her. I'm going to find a mentor, someone who's above my role, right Like I'm a senior manager, but I'm not a C-suite. You know, I'm not an executive, I'm not in a C-suite club. So I'm going to find a mentor to mentor me. What are the things I know for me?
Speaker 1:I need to do better at making sure that I'm clothed in fine linen, because I don't take care of myself, I don't practice self-care, I don't make sure that the outside me is as taken care of as the inside me. Right, I'm an amazing, beautiful person on the inside, but, baby, I don't be looking beautiful on the outside. I'll be looking crazy. I'll hear these straights Okay, I'll be wearing things that just don't fit Cause I'm too cheap to buy new stuff. It's like, girl, give that stuff away to somebody that is going to fit and who's going to be blessed by it, and go get you some clothes that fit you.
Speaker 1:Y'all. I know the things that I need to work on right. The one about when it starts to snow she don't fear because she know that her household is going to be fine. That's not me. I'm a worrier, okay, I just my anxiety sometimes gets the best of me, so I know I need to work on that. Like, that is what I'm going to be doing. I can't tell you what to do. Actually, I just spent the whole podcast trying to tell you what to do. So who am I playing? Okay, I'm bossy, like that. I do tell people what to do, but you know, take what I'm saying with a grain of salt if you want to. And I'm just letting y'all know I'm working on being this Proverbs 31 woman in 2025. I'm excited. I'm excited to embody all of these things and to just work towards all these things, and I'm excited to be the type of woman that the Lord wants me to be now, now that I know what he actually wants.
Speaker 1:This whole time I was saying no, thank you to Jesus Because I was misinformed. I thought he wanted me to be something ridiculous. I was like what, do you want to walk with the Lord? No, ma'am, I'm good you can have him. That was me. That was me. That is just ridiculous, ridiculous. I could have been walking with Christ so much sooner in my lifetime. But you know what? It's better late than never. It's better late than never. And now that I know better, it is my responsibility, I feel like it is my duty. It is my responsibility to share the things that I am learning on my walk and to share it with y'all. And that's the whole point of this podcast. And I will continue doing it for the rest of my life. Well, not the podcast, but continue sharing things that I learn with others for the rest of my life. Anyway, I'm going to go and finish enjoying the rest of my day. Thank you so much. Hopefully this was helpful and beneficial for you and I love you. Bye-bye, see you next time. Bye.