I Can Faith That!
How to go from a stressful and anxious life to one filled with self-care, faith and self-love.
I Can Faith That!
EP 07 | "Why Did God Have to Break Me Down To Build Me Up?"
Sometimes a mindset shift can take an event that once turned your world upside down into something that leads to profound personal growth. This episode shares my personal journey from brokenness to breakthrough. We discuss my shift from seeing therapy merely as a venting mechanism to embracing it as a powerful tool for self-discovery and healing. We explore how me shifting from regular journaling to faith-based journaling allowed for transformative conversations with God. And lastly, we talk about the significance of spiritual leaders and emotionally intelligent allies in your life, and how to make sure you're choosing the right ones. Let this episode be a source of encouragement, offering insights into how you, too, can lead a more meaningful and spiritually enriched life.
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Hey guys, it's Trish. Welcome to another episode of the I Can Faith that podcast. This is episode seven. Today's topic we are going to talk about walking in faith. Hear me out, stay put, don't leave yet. Okay, I'm not going to be preaching to you. Okay, I'm not gonna be preaching to you.
Speaker 1:I think that the best way to kind of segue into walking through faith and the ways that it can look and and if you're new in the journey, like I am, it's just kind of to talk a little bit about my journey. It really started for me about like seven months ago when I broke my ankle. It was such a pivotal moment in my life and it's just an example of how sometimes something bad can happen to you and it absolutely needed to happen. It all came about because of this really horrible thing that happened to me with me breaking my ankle, broke, you know, a couple bones in my ankle, having to go through surgery, suddenly wasn't able to walk for two months because I was not allowed to put weight on the ankle so that it can heal after the surgery. So I wasn't allowed to walk for two whole months. I couldn't go to work for two whole months and work had been kind of the only thing that I did in my life. I went to work and then came back, core and just kind of my entire identity. Who was I outside of work? To suddenly go from being able-bodied right, someone who can walk, someone who lived her life relatively with little to no pain you know, like I'll have a headache every now and then, I might have a stomachache or something like that and to suddenly go from being able-bodied to being temporarily disabled and not being able to use both my feet and going from not being in pain every day to being in pain every single day. It was a lot, and what I can tell you is on the flip side of that, I am grateful that I went through that, because I got to a point where I was so down. I was so down and just feeling like things have got to change. And when you have nothing to do, like when you have nothing but time, there's no working 10 hours because I can't work. I had nothing but time, time to think. I had nothing but time, time to think, time to feel, time to reflect, nothing but time, and it just was the shake that I needed to really actively start making not start making changes, but to start making leaps and bounds in the changes that I needed to make.
Speaker 1:Sometimes we can go through something that, in the moment, feels so painful and hurts so much right, whether figuratively or literally or both and we can go through that and it actually was a blessing. I don't know who is experiencing this right now. In the moment that you're going through it, it doesn't feel like it's a blessing, but it really is. And seven months post-surgery and post-injury, I can see the blessing for what it was and I'm grateful that it happened, because I needed it. I absolutely needed it because prior to that moment that I hurt myself, I had been operating my entire life on autopilot and it was just go to work, come home, go to work, come home. And then, when I was younger, it was like very mediocre, very unremarkable. The growth that I have gone through and the amount of faith that I did not have seven months ago that I have now has been exponential and where I see myself becoming less anxious and I see myself getting closer to living the life that I wanna live. And so what are the things that I did in order to increase my faith, to go from being skeptical to being faithful.
Speaker 1:One thing that I did was so prior to seven months ago I had already had a therapist right and at that time, seven months ago, I had been working with my therapist. For about six to seven months Now I've been working with her. It's been about 14 months or so, so like a little over a year Y'all. I was so operating. I was operating with so little faith that I was trying to be strategic with therapy. I was, I sure was. I was trying to be strategic with therapy. I was not being completely authentic and honest with my therapist and I was essentially using therapy as like a venting session for work. Like that's all I did. I would go to therapy and I would just keep talking about work and people at work that are pissing me off and situations at work that I do not like and changes at work that I would like to make, and work, work, work, work, work.
Speaker 1:And when this happened to me that forced me to shift, that it went from me going to therapy sessions very guarded and very strategic to me having no choice but to be really deep and raw, like there's something really raw that happens when you suddenly go from being able to walk to not being able to walk and the fear of what the rest of your life could look like if you don't fully heal, and the fear of going from having this job that pays you right to live your life to suddenly being unemployed. And the bills don't stop, but the income did Y'all. I tell you that was really real. I couldn't be inauthentic with my therapist anymore. I had to start using this blessing that God gave me, right. Like everybody doesn't have the money to pay for therapy. That is a blessing, and I had been put in a situation where I was given this blessing. I have this opportunity to have this person help and walk me through things. And I was just being very surface level with my therapist and when I started being real and raw with her, that's when a lot of the work actually started. The real work.
Speaker 1:The first six months of therapy was just like child's play and we started to really dig deep in there and the level of fear and the level of anxiety and the level of of um despair that I felt, you know, and there was even like just conversations, like I had broken my ankle so much and it was so bad that the doctor was even saying like I don't know that you're ever going to be a runner. And I remember being like what does that mean? And and he also told me that when he was, you know, operating on me that there was, um, uh, tissue damage that had predated my injury, that he saw tissue damage that had started from way before and that will continue to happen. And he was able to see that because of this injury and being able to cut my foot open and stuff. And he was saying, like you are going to develop arthritis. There's no ifs, ands or buts about it. That will happen to you.
Speaker 1:And then just kind of like the fear of that and already being an anxious person and just like not being able to work and not knowing the healing process. And then he had told me that the healing process can take up to a year, a year and a half, and I was just like mortified because I have to get back to work Like I had. It was just a lot and it brought out so many feelings and so many things in me and when I finally started being real and authentic and raw with my therapist, that's when we were able to start doing the real work and we were able to really like dig deep and go back into childhood experiences, go back into moments that I had compartmentalized and put in the back of my mind and didn't even think about, but they were contributing so much to the level of anxiety and the level of discontent that I had experienced my entire life and I was finally able to start doing the work, and so therapy for me was one of the huge things that helped me and that is continuing to help me in my walk with faith and learning how to shift scarcity, mindset, perspectives and learning about how to undo things that were done unintentionally by my parents and by my family and by my culture and by society and that were keeping me down and stifled, and how to undo these things and how to reparent myself and switching to an I can. I can get through this. I can go through things and I will come out victorious in the end and I will come out of it stronger than ever before. I remember saying like, okay, I need to start watching, like motivational stuff, encouraging stuff, like, and so I started watching, like you know, podcasts and like anything that seemed like it was motivational, that it was uplifting, that it was approaching things from a strength-based perspective, and in that process I discovered a pastor who I am so eternally and forever grateful for. Grateful for Because, when I tell you, his sermons and his teachings got me through.
Speaker 1:I felt very weak and I did not feel strong and I was desperately seeking something and I didn't know what I was seeking. And so I went and I heard that that week's sermon and baby, yeah, dr Darius Daniels. He's the lead pastor of Change Church, life Changing. This man has been a huge contributing factor to me walking in my faith, walking in my faith. I have not missed a single Sunday in the past seven months. He is that good and it's just. I don't want to keep raving about him, but he has helped me. And he may not be for you, he may not be for everyone. I would highly advise that you go and check him out but he may not be for you, right? You have to find what is for you, right. You have to find your tribe and your people the same way. Him being authentically himself and doing it in a way that's not typical to what you would see a pastor do, and him like.
Speaker 1:He even had a series where he took popular r&b songs and popular r&b lyrics and showed how it corresponds to like biblical, biblical scripture, and these were like secular songs that I grew up listening to and that's a huge part of like I love music to approach those songs and learn lessons about life from them and see how there are biblical scriptures that correspond with those lyrics. It was just mind boggling to me because I have gone to churches where, like, the pastors were preaching about secular music and how you're like you're walking with the devil if you listen to hip hop and R&B and you have to like, be this and you have to do this and you have to be this way. And then here you are, still loving your R&B songs and feeling like, oh my God, like I a bad person, am I going to hell? It was just crazy to see this actual pastor use the very same secular music that other pastors shun you for listening to use culture and then find biblical scripture and combine the two to not only make you feel accepted and welcomed, but also to teach you how to find faith in everything around you.
Speaker 1:The third thing that has helped me to become more faithful is journaling. Before that, I was journaling just kind of like oh my God, this is what's happening to me. These are the changes that I want to make, or this is what happened to me today and it really pissed me off. And how can I see this from a different angle or a positive perspective? And all of that was very helpful and it was amazing, but I switched it to more of like a conversation with God, right? Instead of having a journal entry that's just talking about my new year's resolutions, for example, it's like more of a conversation with the Lord, like these are the things that, god, I want to achieve and accomplish this new year and these are the things that I'm asking for you to help me, for you to walk alongside me. Lord, I'm coming to you because these are the desires of my heart and I ask that you guide me and I ask that you walk with me and I ask that you give me the strength and the wisdom in order to achieve these desires. Right? Like that's just an example of a journal entry and like how I've switched the way that I journal.
Speaker 1:I mean I could do a whole podcast episode on this, actually of faith-based journaling, but let me know if that would be helpful for you guys.
Speaker 1:What's another example? Another example would be a boundary that I know that I need to set and just kind of like processing how I'm going to go about doing it. Instead, I flip that to be a conversation with God. My spirit is telling me that this needs to be done and I believe that it's doing that because it's something you want, and I don't know what to do. I don't know how to do it. I don't know what to do. Don't know what to do. I don't know how to do it. I don't know what to do. I know it needs to be done and I need you right now.
Speaker 1:This is what I think you're telling me. This is how I think you're telling me. I need to do it. Let me know, but I'm leaning towards you and I am having faith in that, if it's not what you wanted of me, that you're still going to protect me and keep me safe and you're still going to look out for me, and that you will have grace with me. And I am thankful for you for being graceful, for being full of grace. I'm thankful for you for still loving me, despite any mistake that I could possibly make, despite my flaws, and I'm approaching this situation putting you first. And if what I think you're telling me is not actually true. I have full faith that you're going to love me regardless, and that's how I journal now and it has done wonders for me in my walk in faith, like I am.
Speaker 1:So I'm finding that I my level of anxiety is decreasing so much Now it's still there. Okay, I'm a work in progress. Things that fear and anxiety and worry had crippled me and stopped me from being able to take steps forward. I'm finding in certain areas of my life that I'm actually doing it and it's just really beautiful, like it's really beautiful and it's just amazing.
Speaker 1:And so I say all this to say that walking in faith looks so many different ways and I am hoping that this was very helpful for you and this episode really kind of like helped with that and by me kind of talking about what sparked my faith journey and you know some of the things that I've been doing to kind of help me grow stronger in faith.
Speaker 1:You know, having finding a spiritual leader whether that be a pastor or a spiritual coach or something like that getting someone to help you with your mental and your emotional health growth right, whether that be a therapist or like a life coach or just a friend or a relative that has strong emotional intelligence that you can lean on and bounce things back and forth with, finding an outlet to allow you to get stronger in connection with God, whether that be reading the Bible, in my case it's having a spiritual journal, it could be meditation, whatever it is. Hopefully it was helpful for you guys in your walk in faith and I Can Faith that podcast is, you know, hopefully that I Can Faith part of your um your journey. Alrighty, that is it for episode seven. I will see you guys in the next one. Bye y'all, thank you.